Regardless of what happens during labor, no woman imagines becoming an NICU mom. She’ll have to overcome an abundance of challenges and difficulties during the time her baby is in the NICU. But what hurts most is the comments and advice she gets from family, friends, and even strangers. If you have a friend that is on this journey, here’s what you should never say to her.
What the NICU mom doesn’t need to hear
It must be nice not to have your baby in your hospital room while you recover
Okay so if the NICU mom happens to have a knife with her and she stabs you when you utter these words, don’t say we didn’t warn you. She would have given her left arm to have her baby with her during those first few days.
At least you have some more time with your husband now
Sorry but before her baby was born, the NICU mom shared ALL her time with her hubby. The only thing she wants to do now is to be with her brand new baby. She still loves her husband, but he’s just not the most pressing priority right now.
You’ll have time to rest and prep meals before your baby comes home
Most hospitals are not willing to host moms when their babies are in the NICU. This means they are discharged without their babies and have to return to pre-prepped homes WITHOUT the one thigs they prepped for. There’s nothing more heart-breaking than leaving the hospital with an empty car seat. Leaving without your new baby is devastating, to say the least. Instead of resting and recovering before baby is discharged, the NICU mom spends all her time traveling to and from the hospital. She sits in her baby’s room all day and pumps so her baby can have breast milk. And this is anything but restful.
It must be great that you delivered such a small baby
Most NICU moms would have been glad to carry their babies to term and to have delivered a larger baby just for the sake of the baby being heathier and ready to go home. Everything is more difficult with preemies. So no, it’s not great.
Let’s hope it doesn’t impact your baby’s mental or physical development
If you say these words, you’re an insensitive jerk. Most babies in the NICU are premature, which means that the fear of mental or physical delays are at the forefront of the NICU mom’s list of worries. Instead of voicing her inner fears, she just needs you to encourage her and leave her with positive thoughts.