Once you leave the world of “man to man” parenting and convert to “zone defence”, things go from interesting to downright bizarre. Parenting three kids isn’t an easy feat, so let’s take a look at some of the most brutal realities that these brave parents face.
What it’s like to have three kids
1. You can never book just one hotel room
Family vacations are geared toward the idea of a 4-person family unit. Until you’re a fiver, you’ll never get that. Gone are the days where you could book packaged deals. Good luck with finding deals on cruise ships or sleepers on trains. A family unit in a hotel doesn’t allow for more than four people occupying the room. Isn’t that magical.
2. Someone always feels left out
From here on out, it will always be two against one. The youngest kids will play together while the eldest mopes. Or the older two will team up on the “baby”. This also leads to the next problem…
3. Agreements won’t happen. Ever.
Even if you narrow something (like dinner options) down to two choices, there will always be at least two kids who disagree. And that’s when the middle child gets to flex his power as he or she learns that they are the Justice of the Supreme Court that is your family.
4. There will always be a kid in the bathroom
Parenting three kids leads to the inevitable fight over bathroom time. One of the three will always be hogging the bathroom, primarily just to force their siblings to scream and pound on the door that they really need to pee. You, on the other hand, have to cram your bathroom breaks into minute-long increments. Also, this tends to wait until everyone else has left the house.
5. Math becomes your worst enemy
Pretty much everything fun to do with kids is set up in twos and fours. Like riding the rollercoaster or getting seats on the bus. Perhaps the only thing that can work for you is seating on an aeroplane. But math is even worse when it comes to food. Just try cutting that pizza into perfect thirds. Your best option is to divide everything in fourths and eat the other portion yourself.
6. You’re SO getting a mom van
You’ve always wanted to avoid this, but with three kids, you desperately need extra space in the car. Even if you think you can stick with your small family car for now, it won’t be like this forever. The first time one of your kids ask if they can bring their friend along on a trip, you’ll realize it’s all over for you.