You’re not a real mom until you realise that you’ll probably wear the same clothes a few days in a row at some stage of your life. It’s the mom uniform we’re talking about. And it could even see you heading out the door with a shirt you slept in on some days. Luckily, the mom uni has come a long way since the 50’s, and now comprises of a few key elements. To adhere to the changing times, here are the South African Mom Uniform Association (SAMUA) general guidelines for the mom uniform.
Mom uniform essentials as recommended by the SAMUA (something we just made up)
Always start with a pair of comfortable leggings. You’re missing something if you’re not wearing them every day. Black leggings. About 5 pairs should suffice. You’ll never be able to praise their existence enough.
2. A shirt (possibly one you slept in last night)
Mornings are already hectic, so don’t put more stress on yourself. Forgetting to change your shirt is something that happens. At one point, every mom is going to have that dirty, wrinkled shirt on. Don’t sweat it. Own it and wear it with pride.
3. A pair of flip-flops
This rule only applies to summertime weather though. Flip-flops are a mom’s best friend, and if you don’t own a pair already, where have you been for the last 5 years?
4. A terrible bra
After we become moms, we start wearing ugly bras. In the worst colours imaginable, like beige and nude. They’re unsexy and definitely unflattering. Perhaps you have a black push-up number hiding in your closet for those rare occasions, but it doesn’t form part of the mom uniform. For the most part, the hideous yet comfortable bra you purchased right after the birth of your first kid is the go-to requirement as stipulated by the SAMUA.
5. Your phone
Your phone is the most crucial part of your mom uniform. If you see a mom, you also see her phone. In fact, they might just as well be one in the same thing. We need our phones for important things like taking calls and capturing selfies with our kiddos.
Optional extras for the mom uniform
1. A brown banana
It’s 11:30 am already, and you haven’t eaten anything today. As you run out the door, grab the brown banana that’s been decorating the counter for two weeks. Whether you end up eating it is a matter that will stay between you and the banana.
2. Your water bottle
You know you don’t drink enough water, and your pee could do with a lighter colour. Keep a bottle of water with you, which probably won’t end up forcing you to drink more water. But it’s the idea that counts.