Although they might not be able to voice their thoughts yet, it’s fun to imagine what our little humans would say if babies could talk. Based on their side eye and weird facial expressions, here’s what we reckon they’d bring up in conversation
What we’d hear if babies could talk…
The breakfast chat
Hey mom, why are you still eating two helpings of breakfast? I know you’ve told people that you’re still breastfeeding and all, but it’s time to get real man. You’re supplementing me with that formula on the counter. You’re eating just as much as me, every four hours. But whatever makes you feel better. Now if you don’t mind, I’d like my bottle so I can throw it on the floor.
Oh man, lunch! I LOOOOOVE lunch. Mom, I love lunch so much. Yes, you’re taking one out. I have been waiting for this way too long. I really don’t want to yell for my food every time man, can you not just get with the program? Also, don’t tell people I’, grumpy when I get hungry. If you don’t take forever to feed me, we won’t have to deal with any of these issues. But whatever. I like this boob. What was that noise? Did you hear that? I can’t eat and be nosy at the same time, plus why doesn’t this nipple want to stretch out a little more? Perhaps if I just clamp it down with my gums and whip my head to that side- what? Don’t be so dramatic mom. It hurts my gums more than it hurts you. Don’t worry mom. You’ll get over it.
The bedtime lingo
Okay here comes my jam! I am so into bath time. It’s soothing, and I get some scrubbing action too, plus it’s a secret stash of bonding time with mom too. But noooo, crap that is TOO cold mom. Thanks for always knowing just what I need mom. You are a star.
After bath relaxation time in my room is the best. Mom you know we’ve listened to the same audiobook like a bazillion times, right? I mean, I am eating and all, but can you find something better to listen to while you’re nursing me? All in all, this is just the best life ever. You’re kind of awkward mom, I mean you’re always hovering over me and sometimes, you use me as an excuse not to go out and do things. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love you mom, and as soon as I get this whole language thing sorted, I’m going to make sure I tell you in your language too!