How to deal with gender disappointment during pregnancy

How to deal with gender disappointment during pregnancy

Gender disappointment during pregnancy can be a major bummer. We know you told everyone (including the hubby) that you don’t really care about the baby’s gender. But in your heart, you know that you have a preference.

As the sonographer lays down the transducer on your belly and then announces…”It’s a (insert the opposite gender of what you were hoping for here)!”

You smile and look at your partner, and you try your best to look excited. But deep down, there’s a sadness inside of you. And you find yourself stuck with a feeling of disappointment, and it hurts. This makes you feel guilty, which amplifies the feelings you initially had. Plus you’re hormonal, so you’re tearing up and this day didn’t go according to plan, at ALL.

Can you relate? Here are some tips to help you deal with the situation…

Dealing with gender disappointment during pregnancy

1. Don’t try to hide your feelings

You’re allowed to experience gender disappointment during pregnancy, so don’t try to hide it. Pretending to feel different than you really do is probably the worst thing you can do. Just because you hoped for another gender doesn’t mean you’ll love your baby less.


2. Don’t announce the gender if you’re not ready

If you’re not excited about your baby’s gender yet, don’t announce it until you do. You want that announcement to be a fun memory of your pregnancy journey, so don’t spoil it by being in the wrong frame of mind. Wait until you’ve discovered the fun side to the gender before you announce the sex of your baby.


3. Talk to moms who have been there

A good way to get excited about having the opposite gender than you were expecting is to talk to moms in the shoes you’re about to fill. You can also talk to other parents who are in the same situation than you, but just the opposite. If you’re expecting a girl but were hoping for a boy, connect with an expectant mom who’s carrying a boy but was hoping for a girl. This can really help bring closure and set you in the right frame of mind.


4. Start writing your son or daughter some letters

It’s easy to get stuck in a specific gender because you don’t know your baby. You don’t really have a relationship with the tiny human growing inside of you, so it’s easy to stay stuck and focused on having a specific gender instead of just the fact that you’re having a child. An easy way to redirect those feelings is to write letters to your unborn baby. The more you write, the more real your baby will start to feel.

By Seldean Smith

Seldean Smith is the chief copywriter, ghostwriter, and mischief-maker over at Since 2012, she’s helped over 100 brands and individuals find their voice, and get seen & heard with content that truly speaks their language and fits their phenomenal work. Because words that lift hearts, ignite minds, and get results can do more than just change your business – they can change the world too. Wanna know more? Catch her ideas on writing as a full-time mom and the art of writing on her blog!

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