There’s a lot of beauty to be found when you see productive co-parents doing their best to ensure the happiness of their kids. But let’s be honest here: it’s no easy feat. When it comes to your relationship with your ex, you’d probably prefer never having to deal with them again. But if you have kids together, there’s no way this will ever be a reality.
You might not love each other anymore, but this isn’t an excuse to give up working together for the benefit of your kids. Your kids need your team effort now more than they ever have before. Here are some tips and tricks for becoming productive co-parents.
Productive co-parent basics
Maybe you’re not friends, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be civil
Divorce is a nasty thing, and it touches the lives of everyone involved. Generally, there will be some animosity between you and your ex. But this can’t be allowed to get in the way of successfully raising kids together. If you can’t be friends yet (you’ll get there someday), you owe it to the kids to at least be civil with each other. This means that you’ll have to look past the annoying aspects of your ex and try to see the positive in them instead. This is hard to do, but the more you focus on positive qualities your ex has, the easier it becomes to have a productive relationship with them.
Learn from your failures
If you’re harbouring resentment, it’ll reflect negatively on your kids. It might seem tempting to rant and rave about your ex’s personal faults, but it can be very traumatic for your kids. Your kids love you and your ex, so don’t ever put them in the middle of your disagreements. Your relationship probably didn’t end because there was just one party to blame. Let go of that resentment, learn from your mistakes, and own up to your part of the failed relationship.
Don’t forsake your commitment to your ex
Even though you’ve separated, you do still have some commitments towards your ex that need to be honoured. This is one of the best ways to ensure you stay a team of productive co-parents. Perhaps your commitments include maintenance or picking the kids up from school in the afternoon.
Accept that an ending is just the start of a new beginning
As you learn from your past mistakes, you open up doors for new beginnings. This allows you and your ex to work together in a different way. You can now focus on what’s important, which is being there for your kids.